Your relationship with using
You choose the goal, whether that means cutting down, staying in control or stopping, and that is the one we work towards. I work from a harm reduction approach, so you do not need to have stopped before we begin.
Chemsex · LGBTQ+ affirmative · Online
Chemsex therapy for gay and bi men, without judgement
The comedown from Saturday is still there on Monday afternoon, after a weekend that went on longer than you planned. You are not sure whether you want to stop, cut down or simply understand what is happening, and the last thing you want is a lecture. Chemsex therapy here starts from where you are, online and in English, with a psychologist who works with gay and bi men and does not treat your sexuality as the problem.
Onlineand
worldwide
worldwide
8+years of
experience
experience
M-36402Licensed
psychologist
psychologist
EN · ESEnglish or
Spanish
Spanish
Does this sound familiar?
When chemsex starts to affect the rest of your life
01
Sex without G, tina or mephedrone feels flat, or you find it hard to connect with someone when you are both sober.
02
A session you meant to keep to one night runs into Sunday, and the comedown lasts until Wednesday.
03
Mondays bring the same mix of guilt, anxiety and emptiness, and you are tired of starting the week like that.
04
You have started missing work, cancelling plans with friends or letting go of things you used to care about.
05
You want to stop, cut down or keep it under control, but every plan you make on your own slips after a few weeks.
06
You have thought about asking for help, but explaining chemsex to someone who might judge you, or might not know what it is, puts you off.
What we work on
What we can work on in chemsex therapy
Comedowns, anxiety and sleep
The days after a session can be hard to get through. We look at what happens to your mood and your sleep afterwards, and find practical ways to get through those days without reaching for the next hook-up.
Sex and desire without substances
A lot of men worry that sober sex will never feel as good again. We work on getting back in touch with your body and with what you enjoy, slowly and without any pressure to perform.
Shame, self-esteem and intimacy
Drugs often cover something that is hard to feel sober, such as shame about sex, a body you are unhappy with or a fear of letting someone get close. We can look at that too, slowly.
Loneliness and relationships
We talk about how you meet people, what you look for on the apps and in your friendships, and what you miss on the evenings when there is no party to go to.
Chemsex, HIV and fear, without stigma
Worries about your health, fear of HIV and desire all belong in the session, whatever your status.
How it works
How to start
1
Send a WhatsApp message
A couple of lines is enough. Tell me a little about what is going on and whether you would rather have sessions in English or in Spanish.
2
Agree a time that works
I reply in confidence, and we choose a slot for the first session that you can realistically keep.
3
Book your first online session
Sessions are by video call, so you can join from wherever you live. All you need is a private room and a stable connection.
4
Set the goal together
In the first sessions we look at what you want from therapy, whether that is cutting down, staying in control or stopping. We review the plan as things change.
About me
Mariano Ventura Barreira
Psychologist · Licence M-36402 · LGBTQ+ Affirmative Therapy
For more than eight years I have worked with gay and bi men and other men who have sex with men, and chemsex comes up in that work far more often than people expect. I am a psychologist, licence M-36402, and I see adults online in English or Spanish, wherever they live.
My practice is LGBTQ+ affirmative, which means your sexual orientation is never the thing we are trying to fix. Here I work from harm reduction, because people tend to look at what is happening more honestly when nobody is lecturing them.
You will not have to explain what G or tina are before we can begin, and you will not have to justify the way you live. I would rather ask you a good question than hand you a ready-made answer.
Follow me on Instagram · @preguntadorenserieYou do not have to stop before we start
If you would like to talk it through in English, send me a WhatsApp message. Tell me roughly where things stand and which country you are in, and we can see whether online sessions would suit you.
Message me on WhatsAppFAQ
Questions about chemsex therapy
Chemsex usually means using drugs such as mephedrone, GHB/GBL or crystal meth to have sex or to make it last longer, mostly among gay and bi men. Naming it clearly does not mean encouraging it. It means we can talk about it precisely, with no moralising.
No. I do not ask for abstinence as a condition for starting. We begin from your goal, whether that is cutting down, staying in control or stopping, and review it with you as things change.
Yes. What you say in session is protected by professional confidentiality. As in any health service, I keep a clinical record, and it stays private.
Therapy is not an emergency service. If you or someone with you passes out, cannot be woken, has trouble breathing or has a seizure, call your local emergency number or go to the nearest emergency department straight away. Once everyone is safe, we can talk about what happened in session.
Reviews on Google
What clients say
5.0
★★★★★
Ratings on Google
★★★★★
Después de la pandemia me di cuenta de que había cosas que no estaba consiguiendo gestionar solo, sobre todo la ansiedad y lo mucho que me costaba relacionarme con los demás. Con el tiempo también fuimos trabajando mi autoestima, mis relaciones con otros hombres, mi familia, varios cambios de trabajo y hasta cómo volver a disfrutar de actividades fuera de casa.
★★★★★
El principal motivo por el que busqué ayuda fue porque el trabajo ocupaba prácticamente toda mi vida. En terapia pude aprender a ordenar mejor mis prioridades y a dar espacio a cada parte de mi vida sin sentir que estaba descuidando la otra. Ahora también me permito descansar, irme de vacaciones y desconectar sin sentir culpa.
★★★★★
Al principio fui a terapia de pareja y, aunque esa relación no salió adelante, sentí que había conectado muy bien con él y quise seguir el proceso yo solo. Durante estos años hemos hablado de muchísimas cosas: de mi forma de entender las relaciones, mi manera de vivir el amor y también de mis proyectos de vida.
Genuine reviews published on Google, anonymised with initials to protect each person’s privacy. They are in Spanish, the language those sessions were held in.
See all reviews on Google →