Loneliness and starting over
Building a social life from scratch takes longer than most people expect, especially after thirty. We look at the kind of company you miss and at small, specific steps that make a new city feel less empty.
In English · LGBTQ+ affirmative · Online
Therapist for gay expats who want therapy in English
You moved to Spain for a job, a partner or a better life, and most weeks it works. Then the residency appointment gets pushed back again. The family group chat fills up with photos of a wedding you will miss, and Sunday in the flat is very quiet. If you want a therapist for gay expats who works in English and does not need your sexuality explained, write to me. I work online from Madrid.
Onlineand
worldwide
worldwide
8+years of
experience
experience
M-36402Licensed
psychologist
psychologist
EN · ESSessions in English or Spanish
Does this sound familiar?
When the move worked on paper and you still feel alone
01
You have been in Spain for a year or two and can deal with the landlord in Spanish, yet you still eat dinner alone more nights than you would like.
02
A residency renewal sits in the back of your mind, and it is hard to plan a relationship around a date someone else decides.
03
The apps are busy, but conversations stall after the first drink and you cannot tell if it is the language, the culture or you.
04
Your family is a flight and a time difference away. Calls home stay short and polite, and they rarely hear how you are doing.
05
You came out years ago, but a new office means deciding all over again how much to say about your partner.
06
You tried a local therapist and spent the hour translating, or explaining what being gay means, instead of talking about why you came.
What we work on
What gay expats often bring to a therapist
Visas, paperwork and a life on hold
Months of waiting for a document can keep you on alert all the time. We work on that anxiety and on what you can still plan while you wait.
Dating and relationships in another culture
Expectations about sex, commitment and open relationships change from country to country. We can sort out what you want, which patterns keep repeating and how to say it to a partner who grew up somewhere else.
Family far away
Distance can make old family tensions quieter or louder. We talk about guilt for leaving, parents who are getting older and how much of your life you want to share with them.
Being out in a new country
Moving often means coming out again at work, at the gym or to new neighbours. I treat your orientation as part of who you are and never as the thing to fix.
Anxiety, low mood and burnout
Expat life can look enviable in photos while you feel flat or on edge. We put words to what is going on and practise ways of responding that fit your routine.
How it works
How to start
1
Send a WhatsApp message
A few lines are enough. Tell me where you live and what is making you look for therapy now.
2
Agree a time that works
I reply and we pick a slot that works where you are, whether that is Madrid, Lisbon or somewhere further away.
3
Book your first online session
We meet by video at a time that suits your time zone. You only need privacy and a stable connection, wherever you happen to be that month.
4
See if the fit feels right
Over the first sessions we agree on what you want to work on and how often to meet. We stay in English, or switch to Spanish if you ever prefer.
About me
Mariano Ventura Barreira
Psychologist · Licence M-36402 · LGBTQ+ Affirmative Therapy
I live and work in Madrid, registered as a psychologist with the Official College of Psychology of Madrid (COPM), licence M-36402, and I see LGBTQ+ adults online in English or Spanish.
For more than eight years I have worked with LGBTQ+ people living outside their home country. Some left for work, some for love, some to be themselves without looking over their shoulder. My work is affirmative, so you will not have to defend your sexuality before we start.
Sessions are online, so therapy can carry on if you move from Madrid to Lisbon or spend a few months back home. Often life abroad works well and there is still a kind of loneliness that is hard to explain to people at home. That is usually where we begin.
Follow me on Instagram · @preguntadorenserieWould you like to talk to a therapist for gay expats in English?
If you want someone who works online and knows life in Madrid, send me a WhatsApp message. Tell me where you are and what is on your mind, and we will arrange your first session.
Message me on WhatsAppFAQ
Questions gay expats ask a therapist before starting
Yes. Sessions are in English for anyone who prefers it, and I also work in Spanish. You do not need any Spanish to start, and we can change language whenever it helps.
Yes. I work online with people in different countries and time zones, so sessions can continue after a move. We agree on a regular time and adjust it if your schedule changes.
It means your sexual orientation or gender identity is never treated as the problem or as something to change. In practice I focus on what you bring, whether that is loneliness, a relationship or settling into Spain.
The first session lasts 60 minutes and the following ones 50 minutes. The first one is also a chance to see whether we are a good fit.
Reviews on Google
What clients say
5.0
★★★★★
Ratings on Google
★★★★★
Con Mariano, me di cuenta de lo exigente que soy conmigo mismo y de cómo vivía siempre con la sensación de ir corriendo. Poder parar, ordenar las ideas y tomar decisiones con más calma me ayudó muchísimo. Hoy vivo en Nueva York con mi pareja y siento que estoy en un camino profesional que realmente he elegido y no que simplemente me ha ido llevando. Mirando atrás, el cambio ha sido enorme y estoy muy agradecido por todo el proceso.
★★★★★
Me ayudó mucho trabajar con Mariano durante 2023 y 2025. Me enfrenté a cambiar de rol en mi trabajo, varias mudanzas en poco tiempo y afrontar muchos cambios a la vez en el contexto familiar. Cuento con el siempre que lo necesito y nos seguimos viendo. 😘
★★★★★
Llegué a terapia con la necesidad de poner orden en muchos aspectos de mi vida. Quería trabajar cuestiones familiares, entender mejor algunos cambios vitales que estaba atravesando y encontrar un equilibrio entre mi relación de pareja, mis amistades y un trabajo en el sector audiovisual que me obliga a pasar muchos meses fuera de Madrid. Sentía que todo ocupaba demasiado espacio en mi cabeza y necesitaba no solo entender lo que me estaba pasando, sino también encontrar una forma más clara de tomar decisiones y construir un plan de acción que tuviera sentido para mí. Seguimos trabajando juntos y, poco a poco, voy aprendiendo a gestionar mejor todas estas áreas de mi vida. Mirando atrás, siento que ahora afronto las cosas con mucha más claridad y tranquilidad.
Genuine reviews published on Google, anonymised with initials to protect each person’s privacy. They are in Spanish, the language each person wrote them in.
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